Hello, friends.

Quick announcement that I’ve set some dates for an important LGBTQIA+ Allyship workshop and the Spring 2025 Cohort for my LGBTQ+ Spirituality course!! More info follows after this week’s reflection. (So if this reflection isn’t resonating, feel free to scroll past – though I hope you will read it!)

Now that we have a clearer idea of what we are facing (and see the ways companies, professionals, and institutions are willingly acquiescing) we know better how to resist and how to stand up for one another. I would say that we can also better see the roots and systemic issues, the problems that have arisen out of the ways we misunderstand and refuse to see and acknowledge reality. The ways our spirituality and our views of the world can either aid or hinder us and others in our pursuit of a more just and loving world.

In continuing to reflect on the injustices on a large scale and the ones that hit close to home, I had a thought a few nights ago that has found its way into forming the better allyship workshop along with your own responses to the survey I sent out a few weeks ago.

Here’s the thought: The difference between peacemaking and peacekeeping is the key difference between being an ally vs being on the side of the oppressor through neutrality.

Peacemaking as an idea has been popping up in social media posts, newsletters I receive, and more. And do we ever need more peacemaking right now.

But I notice a pattern among some peacemaking discussions that disturbs me. It’s one that disturbed Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr, too – so much that he wrote about it in Letter from a Birmingham Jail¹. He wrote of his hope that white moderates could understand the necessity of tension in what he called “transition from obnoxious negative peace” where the oppression on Black folks was accepted as the norm to “positive peace which is the presence of justice.”

This is the difference I see in conversations about creating peace – all too many focus on this negative peace, the “keeping of the peace” so to speak – where we are over-encouraged to have affection for enemies, instructed to be passive, and admonished for more forceful assertions.

In all of the processing I’ve been doing over the recent injustice with the people who harmed me and my family, an incident from 7^th grade surfaced in my mind. It continued to come up until I finally understood the larger picture.

7^th grade was incredibly tough for me. I was made fun of relentlessly and even sucker-punched in the face for standing up to a bully. In gym class one day, I went to the bathroom to find my purse had been stolen and some contents emptied into the toilet while later in the day I found that the other things had been stolen by girls in my class. The next day, I confronted one girl in particular and asked for my pen back that she was using in my math class. In the next period, gym – she came up to me and started threatening me. A group of girls soon circled around us, and I could not find a way out. I noticed one girl in particular – Amy – my best friend from 6^th grade. When I walked toward her to be let out of the ring, though, she crossed her arms and stared at me.

I was on my own to face this bully, using her height to stand over me, saying what all she wanted to do to hurt me as she raised her fist.

Then Shannon, a scrappy girl I had known since kindergarten but was never really close to stepped forward and stood next to me.

“If you touch Charity, I will hurt you,” she said. Then two of Shannon’s friends came forward to back up Shannon – and surprisingly, me.

As a back-and-forth stare down continued, the bully lowered her fist, took a step back and bit her lip. I took the chance and ran as hard as I could to break through the other girls to reach my gym teacher and eventually safety.

Though my initial thoughts about this memory centered on longing for people to step into the circle and take a stand for me and my family right now, my thoughts have deepened into recognizing this act by Shannon and her friends as one of peacemaking. And a model even for what we face together.

The increase in tension provided a necessary reflection for my bully – she hesitated. It provided me with more safety. It gave me an opportunity to get to safety. This was true allyship toward me as a person.

Now I’m not suggesting we threaten people or use violent words or actions to get a point across – but I am suggesting that true peacemaking and true allyship takes risks and embodiment. They both require us to be active rather than passive. They both require us to step into the ring and put our bodies in between the oppressor and oppressed.

Peace-keeping prevents justice. It prevents true peace. It’s Amy with her arms crossed. It’s the companies rolling back DEI programs. It is the resolve to be a bystander and not get involved, to not take a side – which of course as Desmond Tutu pointed out, is the side of the oppressor.

But when we create true peace, through justice and taking a stand and bravery– we practice not only great allyship but great peace-making.

May we be true peacemakers together as we stand for each other, our planet, and for Love.

In true peace,

Charity

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1. Letter from a Birmingham Jail (I highly recommend reading and re-reading): https://www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html​

Save the Dates!

Embodied Allyship – Tuesday, April 1st 6 PM- 7PM Eastern

Come to this online workshop learn about true allyship in this moment we face together. We will reflect on important concepts and the heart of being a true ally, discuss practical steps you can take as an ally for LGBTQIA+ folks in 2025 and beyond, and overview important and practical ways to stay informed and resources to pass along. This special workshop will be “pay what you want” with a minimum of $25. Registration link and more info will be available next week! Recording will be available for those who cannot attend live.

Free Spirit (Spring 2025 LGBTQIA+ Cohort) – Beginning April 14^th

Join this 6 week LGBTQIA+cohort based program & take this step to reclaim your own spiritual identity! Through this program, you will learn practical ways to navigate spiritual questions and the impacts of religious trauma on your beliefs, and find new ways to engage with spirit and meaning, allowing you to live more true to your authentic self and in more communitywith or without religious belief.​
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YOU get to decide what to believe and how to hold on to your spiritual self as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Registration is Open - More Info Here: https://embodied-affirmation-school.teachable.com/p/freespiritearly2025​

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Stay tuned for more to come!