Hello, friend.

Here in North Georgia, it’s been dreadfully and dangerously hot. I hope wherever you are that you are staying hydrated and safe. I know even friends in New England have been suffering under this latest heat wave.

Last week, I sent you a note about collective wellness and the myth of rugged individualism finding its way into our beliefs about wellness. This week, I want to share a little more about our separation and get some thoughts flowing about how it could be different. Somehow, this oppressive heat reminds me of that, and it reminds me of how important it is to do our part instead of acting in ways that only make matters worse.

I’ve taken a step back from social media this week to put a little distance there for focus, but also to focus more on in-person connections that are important to me – birthday celebrations for friends, a good long conversation with a friend who I am scheming and dreaming with, and to just be where I am.

The few times I’ve gone on social media, I’ve been reminded of the pressure cooker or high heat feeling. There is so little nuance, so little understanding, and so much rage, jumping to conclusions, and spiraling. It’s incredibly dysregulating to our systems and to our relationships to live like this, and it’s only going to get worse as more AI bots and content fill feeds and comment sections. In many ways, it is often the opposite of care.

If we are honest and look deep enough, we can see that the way we tend to act toward others online is not a root or cause itself, but a symptom of a deeper problem: We don’t actually talk or listen to each other enough. And we’ve moved the art of conversation and connection into a technology of pseudo-connection and point-making. In an attention-based economy, connecting with people off-line (and keeping our phones away while we are doing it) is a radical act of resistance. It’s also important to our own well-being and the well-being of our communities and relationships.

The more we can de-individualize our own “self-care” and recognize the importance of relational and community care, the more well we can become – and the less dependent we will be on the things that actually exacerbate our problems rather than helping them.

Last week, I talked about rethinking what we think community is. I have a new thought from my friend I spent time with yesterday. We talked about reframing and understanding that community is alive, flowing, changing, shifting. That we sometimes long for having this one group, but that even having time one-on-one is engaging in community when we are fully present with each other and showing up.

If this is how we can view community, then what might that mean for us when it comes to shifting to care that's rooted in relationship and community rather than individualism? What might it require of us in how we show up for ourselves and each other in this moment?

I encourage you to take some time to journal or ponder on this. I know I’m going to.

With love,

Charity

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Where I'm Finding Inspiration:

This time of year holds a lot of tiny wonders. Fireflies, cicadas, bees, crickets, may flies. Also the way a ripple of water reflects the moon or the sun. Giant dew drops on grass and ferns. I encourage you to a look a little closer and experience awe at the tiny things.

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